Monday, January 16, 2017
I feel so nostalgic for absolutely nothing lately. Not people, not places... moreso things I never had in the first place.
Looking back at images and creations from the 1980's and 90's just brings such a mixed emotion out of me. I never experienced the decades, but I constantly feel so directly related to them. In that sense, I'll never reach a close to my longing for the Pop Cultures and societal normalities of these eras.
I suppose the closest I can reach is delving into these interests retroactively. I'm a huge fan of old characters, particularly those found in advertisements and theme parks... but, knowing that they are now mere memories to those that have endured their love for them makes them a bit sad to enjoy. It's almost akin to reading about the life and times of a long-gone celebrity, or more close to home, relative. You can't help but image how wonderful they must've been, and how greatly you'd have appreciated them, yet there's a deep pit of emptiness in that you'll never prove your belief.
I also simply admire antiquated, yet familiar aesthetics. Outdated webpages, neon cities, bustling homes. Something about them, in my mind, simply cannot exist in my own perceived reality. I reflect it in my tastes and works - for example, Wastelnd's basic, conventionally user-friendly design choices, or my tendency to adorn myself with Mac Tonite or Showbiz Pizza Tee-Shirts - but, again, knowing I simply can't live these names' glory days is so strangely depressing.
Anything from discarded VHS tapes, to long-forgotten albums, to oddball pieces of media, to cheap collectibles, to pandering commercials, to sitcoms, cartoons, stickers, articles... it's practically an addiction. One with no fulfilling payoff.
Yet, in a sense, my personal appreciation of these retro 'spirits' is because of their lack of existence. Their decay, their lessening appeal. It's almost as if I can serve as one of their few life supports.
Maybe they aren't quite passed on, but simply desperate for some love. If that's the best I can do, so be it.