Wacky Wong's Horrific Whodunnit

Sadly, Mr. Wong does not 
possess eye laser abilities.

In a World...

Where Boris Karloff is Chinese...

A classic brains versus brawn murder mystery! Through inky black high-speed chases, shocking assassinations, and the salting of a hat, the enigmatic Detective James Lee Wong and company investigate the mysterious death of a shipping tycoon; having been shot mere moments after a consolation-turned-confrontation with his business rival.

A man unironically exclaims "Great Scott" in this picture. Awesome. Witty - sharp - charming! Perfectly noir, and sometimes even surprisingly modern in its... well, humanity. Its often pretty funny, believe it or not. Granted you've a taste for old, dusty obscurities - and horrifying cultural appropriation - it's a real fun ol' flick.

My only complaint... it's conclusion's mad abrupt. Even a bit obvious. It sort of leaves you hanging, after really coming to know the film's unique cast of fun fast-talkers. But, I dunno - perhaps the twists-and-turns of the genre hadn't fully developed, y'know?

I knew I was really digging it during a scene where Wong instructs his snarky reporter colleague, in a brief experiment, to close her eyes, and identify where he is snapping two coins - in front, behind, or above her head; only for her to get it wrong literally every time. Happily asking how she's done, she's gracefully informed she did... Bad. She did Bad. She walks away, snapping about, looking totally mortified.

All in all, not necessarily a mind-blower or anything, but nevertheless strong. What a generally unfitting title, though - "Doomed To Die"...? I guess they were banking on Spooky Karloff? Should've called it Wacky Wong's Horrific Whodunnit. Or something.

"What's the damage?

That'll be... four dollars.

What'd she do, buy the place?!

No... that's the price... a dollar a cocktail."