Review - Topps Sonic The Hedgehog Bubble Gum Container

So, I've got a bit of an obsession with this particular little figure. All my life, it's floated silently through the background - an omnipresence; perched atop the crooked shelves of flea markets, smoke-stained and rotten; buried through the depths of dollar bins, locked behind pounds of Disney paraphernalia; looming ominously from behind the counter of an overpriced, over-idolized retro gaming pop-up shop, daring you to purchase a horrifically garish one-up beanie. They seem to fade in and out of existence itself; some sort of holy object, beyond our mortal understanding. Spooky.

I'm talking, of course, about Topps' "Sonic the Hedgehog Bubble Gum Container(s)". Not much of a name.

There was this odd stretch of time from the 80's to the late 00's where pretty much every major video game character was barely represented in the world of action figures; and if they were, it was most likely overpriced to Hell and back, second-hand. Quite the contrast to today, where entire aisles are dedicated to the worlds of Nintendo, Sega, and so forth. To most kids - myself included - your Mario reeked of minimum wage, your Kirby had wheels, and your Bowser was that thing from TMNT 2.  Believe it or not, even during the Sonic series' peak years, there really wasn't much in terms of proper toys for the franchise. Sure, you've got some dolls, and if you were lucky, you might've even scored some cool region-locked goodies. But, besides that, the best you could do in terms of a widely available Sonic toy - this side of landfill fodder - was... well, really, this, which I think makes the figure all the more interesting as a memento of the era and character. 

How far we've come!

Perhaps that's why the vast majority of these figures you'll find in the wild appear to have survived a devastating crackhouse incident. 90's kids played rough.

These guys were sold "at most candy stores", to quote an advertisement seen in Sega Visions' 1993/1994 "Totally Sonic" merchandise section (pictured on the right); including, namely, stores such as BlockBuster and Video Tech. It seems there were two releases; first, in 1993, sold in a shelf display box containing individual figures, and second in 1994, available as a bagged two pack. Yin-Yang style. 

All figures read "©1993 SEGA" and sport a fashionable "GUM NET WT 0.4 OZ" sticker across their tummies. A generic bar code sticker is stuck beneath his soles, including copyright, safety and ingredient information. Boring. Inside their hollowed-out husks of skulls are a variety of yellow, pink and brown pebbles; these, presumably,  being bubble gum. As far as I know, no variations in the figures themselves seem to exist beyond the pictured prototype; with it's solid black and properly aligned pupils. Neat. I wonder if that still exists somewhere. 

My figure is of the perhaps more common bagged variety; coming fresh, and in-package, complete with candy. But don't worry; I've violently torn it open with all the care of a sugar-high toddler, just as God intended. Let's take a closer look at that wicked cool package design. 

Anyone who owned any Sonic merchandise of this era will almost certainly have a heart-wrenching, gut-spewing, ass-blasting nostalgia attack just seeing this time capsule of a zip-loc. Interestingly, I suffered these same effects upon ingesting the aforementioned bubble gum - but we'll get there. Between that warm shade of reddish-purple, that iconic Green Hill Zone checkerboard pattern, and the beautifully graphic style of illustration, this baggie's screaming "Genesis".

 

I really dig the logo, featuring a distinctly Japanese Sonic; notice the brighter color scheme and wider eyes. Not quite sure what's up with that double-chin, though - must've been a bad angle... or, in reality, some sort of layering issue. It's a bit more apparent on his misaligned half-chest. 

Unsurprisingly, this particular Sonic illustration is not totally unique to the figure. Topps used a variety of stock Sonic .pngs across their range of merchandise; while some, as generic as generic gets, others look practically traced from the game's original sprites; which leads us to this particular Sonic's origin. Take a look at this trading card - then, again, the bag's illustration.

That's right - for some reason, they not only made a card featuring frame six of the Sonic the Hedgehog's title screen, but also an alternate traced version that seems to have only been used here. How I managed to recognize this - let alone, why Topps chose to use that of all frames -  is beyond me. 

 

What I really love about this figure is how spot-on accurate it is to the Sonic I truly grew up with; Greg Martin's iconic Americanized design. This isn't the alleged "classic" design, with pastel blue fur and Mickey Mouse coke-bloat - and it ain't good ol' angular anime Sonic, either. It's sort of its own thing. He's lumpy, he's chubby, and he's a bit on the wonky side; and damn, is he cool. I genuinely think this is the only Sonic figure that so perfectly captures this specific likeness, right down to his flat mohawked sprawl of spines. It might be hard to notice due to the lack of definition in the sculpt's lower half - blame the budget - but even his bow legged, thin footed lean is accounted for! I may be coming off sarcastic, and it isn't flawless, but these are all elements of Martin's Sonic that I've truly come to love. It's clearly going for an art accurate approach, and I adore that in any figure.

Obviously certain liberties have been taken - Candy Sonic's got a sort of... alien-clown-baby-head going on... but eh, even Sonic himself couldn't stick to the style sheet during the early 90's - so, if anything, being off-model just adds to the authenticity. Funnily enough, the only major detail they've really missed is his teeny-tiny tail - but not out of laziness, or simply not knowing it exists. Take a closer look at the original illustration; his gigantic left fist is perfectly positioned to hide any tail at all. In a sense, once could say the figure's even more accurate thanks to this stunning attention to even the most minute of design elements. Truly incredible.

Onto the paint - or, more accurately, "color work". I think it suits the figure, and for a candy toy, its right at the standard - though, naturally, it's nothing groundbreaking. I feel like I have to keep making it clear that, man, these things probably ran for under five bucks. Let's not get too elitist about our children's food products. Save that for the SuperPlastic reviews.

Separate pieces of plastic fill out the majority of Sonic's red, white and blue palette. Unfortunately, this leads to sculpted details such as Sonic's ears and shoes going unpainted. Still, give them credit - they actually went out of their way to individually cast socks, gloves, and even a cute rubber nose. Considering each color is a completely separate piece, the added amount effort in construction is well appreciated. You get the feeling these figures genuinely were designed with some amount of care.

A dedicated  repaint of the figure would look really incredible; the sculpt's already leapt from the old Genesis clamshell - all you need is that, slimy, shiny, airbrushed Bugs Bunny look. 

 

Well, at least, that's the sort of mood you get when you've got two sparkly new models. As mentioned before, some of us aren't so lucky. That cute rubber nose? Constantly torn off. Eyes? Jaundiced. Hands? Lost. The shared-joint arms often present issues, as well. My oldest figure can't hold a pose, while the unopened one feels like it'll snap if I get too risky with the shoulder. Luckily, the Sonic I decided to completely unpackage has nice, solid joints that actually function; and, for what it's worth, the majority of others I've owned and encountered have been fine, as well. 

And yet, it still holds together better than any Jazzwares figure.

 

New, unopened, and post-flea market Sonics

Now, time for the heart of this review - the part you've all been waiting for - tonight's main course. The Taste Test. Let's dig in to - and I quote - "Sonic's own special bubble gum". Yikes!

In 1993, Sonic's gum-roofie-pebbles were a boring smack of yellow, pink, orange and brown. "Blast-based bubbles", yeah right. Now, in 2022 - after years of delicately monitored fermentation - we've got a supersonic variety of rare and delectable flavors! Choose between flesh chunk, petrified corn, chewed earplug, and - my favorite - necrotic infection! Don't get too excited - they all taste the same. Ever had one of those abhorrent Circus Peanut candies that look delicious, yet taste like a dementia diagnosis? I'd say that's about one-to-one exactly what these morsels of terror tasted like after decades of rotting away inside everyone's favorite Hedgehog. 

Topps' one and only Sonic figure really is a neat piece of merchandise; it captures an extremely specific, nostalgic take on the character, and, at the time, really filled the role of your go-to Sonic toy. Sure, he's not much more than a glorified statue, and sure, you could debate whether or not Martin's Sonic even looks good to begin with - but, to me, this figure's got it all. Maybe it's just because I tend to enjoy simplistic cheap-toys, or it could be that permanent rose-tinted vision implant, but I genuinely think this is an underrated little figure that's perfect for any classic Sonic fanboy. I should know. They pop up on eBay and the like fairly often, so much so that new old stock seems fairly easily available; all for pretty conservative prices, considering how over-blown retro gaming merchandise tends to become.

Just... don't bother with the candy. Excuse me, I'm on my way to "Stomach Pump Zone".