Small Steps Toward Walking On Water

Spence Kenneth Hasper's valuable input

I recently awoke, in a manic haze; a sweating, frothing sickness of inspiration, rattling my veins like a Parkinson's patient on Alton Towers' Sonic Spinball. It just... called to me. Something about it. It had to be done. 

Having passed out on in the office (on my famous green foam "mattress"), I scraped together what few crew happened to be still present - at, y'know, roughly 4 AM - piled in the company cars - and sped off... to the smoke shop! 

We've shot around here a small handful of times, up and down the whole strip; essentially serving as the area surrounding Vienna's fateful bus stop. It ain't scenic, but it's... eerie. Detached. Somehow otherworldly. I guess in that way, you could call us locals.

As such, nobody seemed to mind as multiple truckloads of strange, effeminate men flooded the empty streets; arranging props, positioning cameras, and installing arguably illegal blacklights... all at the precise command of their dark, masked leader. Me! You'd think we were shooting the Billie Jean video.

We did two takes; Vienna, in silence, surrounded by junk, perched on a dinky metal chair (stolen from the famed Hernando Toy and Comic Show all those eons ago) as she waits for that damned bus... in real time! Spooky. 

The odd anxiety in the air - nervously eyeing the odd passing semi, wandering nightcrawlers, and looming security cameras - gave such a distinct, sickly energy to what happened that night. It's not every day something like this happens. Or... yeah, y'know, night. 

Its also worth mentioning, post-filming, the lads and I finally offloaded the mystic "Urine Couch" beside the shops, whose pungent stench has haunted the studio garage for longer than I care to remember. End of an era.

Sketches for a Super Jack video

It's all about spontaneity. As such, at the time of writing, I've not (much) reviewed the footage, or even the accompanying score by recurring musicvillain Super Jack - also created live! Inn't that nice? I just don't want to touch the project 'till I can give it a full go, from top to bottom. Spontaneity. Like an infant with HIV, it must bear the very same infectious sexual sickness from which it was birthed. 

What's wild is, not even a day later, a big flashing neon sign adorning the wall behind me - that big, crest-shaped thingie, seen in a good handful of shots outside of what we caught just that particular night - was removed; it drew me in, seducing my florescent-obsessed, insect-like eye - and disappeared - a siren in the choking, gagging Floridian murk. Almost like prophecy... if it's in MidLife, it no longer exists. Banished to the city eternal - purgatory. Ain't the first time. Kinda beautiful. 

A few days later, I was once again visited. I hadn't seen her in years; she passed away, in high school. She always liked me... but, y'know. I wasn't mature enough to understand or admire how special that was. Oh well. 

At least we met again. For that moment, what she wanted was real. She was stunning. As if she never left. It felt reassuring. Maybe I'll see her again someday.

Demon Robot Park: How Will Our Love Survive?

Tonight, the lads and I - that is, the night shift janitorial crew of 71 studios, and I, their enslaver - enjoyed a trio of incredible motion pictures; Demon Days Live, Robots, and the South Park movie. Pretty good variety of naughty nightmares.

The Janitorial Crew enjoying
this month's "payment"!

2-D and Murdoc puppets

Demon Days Live is a classic - my only complaints? One. Needed the Looney Tunes + Murdoc and 2-D intro. Such a horrific omission... but, at least the Puppet lads show up once or twice. I like when the bald audience member waves to the boys. Two. They should've edited in the actual Dennis Hopper bit. His performance absolutely steals the show. 

Nevertheless, DDL is so iconic - especially to us Y2K babies, who've seen it many a time on VH1 -  with dope visual direction, such wicked musicianship, and just this filthy hazy vibe to die for. It really is The Gorillaz "Thing". The only Gorillaz concert film I feel comes close, artistically, is probably The Now Now Boiler Room. 

Vienna and the Beanstalk

Blue Sky's Robots, of course, is one of the most important movies. Ever. Next to Oliver and Company, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Barbie Princess and the Pauper, it was among my earliest faves - I owned all the toys, from the Burger King BigWeld, to the Robot City playset - drew all the characters - studied all the behind-the-scenes materials - I could go on. I wouldn't be shocked if it's boldly pro-art message really ingrained itself into my nerdy creative brain... changed everythang.

Well, that and the Peter Pan Peanut Butter contracted Salmonella!

The Varan Molester Himself.

South Park was funny - I've barely seen the series, at all, so my buddies were hype to get me initiated. The most I know are the toys, and Towlie. Ya wanna get hiiigh? I do. Unfortunately, I had some 71 business to attend to about halfway through - namely, firing lead cel painter, Pharr Ting, for inappropriate behaviors involving a Varan The Unbelievable MMS action figure (pictured, above, being inspected for - gulp - DNA evidence via blacklight). So, I kinda missed the schmeat of the flick. Good times, though, good times. I'd like to watch it again.

Speaking of screenings, a complete showing of the March 2024 MidLife - FATE workprint for the Sheikhs went swimmingly.

As such, crucial funds toward the current work-in-progress sequence - which was a track called Isotope - have been secured; with the little caveat of a new song being used in Isotope's place. In the words of Prince Saif - roughly translated, of course - "[Isotope] Sounds Too Much Like Drake." Naturally, I instantly bent to the will of my financial investors. But what of the new song...?

Miraculously, as I adjourned from the following tea party, I struck musical inspiration...

I made my way to the treacherous, hobo-littered crackden known as studio 71; only to once again encounter the Queen of Chaos herself, haunting it's sinister gates - Hexadecimal. 

The Cat!

Yes, Hex has lovingly annoyed me hearty crew for quite some while; quacking... following us inside... barking some more. It's mostly my fault - I keep feeding her. And housing her. And giving her cuddles - all while choking and wheezing from my horrific feline allergies. C'est la vie; forbidden love. Also, a really good Neon Indian song.

It's sad I can't exactly keep her; but, like Queen Hex herself - and all orange cats before her - she's Chaos. What can I say; I'm the "Bob" to her "Hex". She's off to go infect the web. Or should I say, infect Me... with Rabies!

Besides - it's all a diversion... from the real enemy. My Dog... "Mega-Bite"...

A pink night atop the 71 Parking Structure

Mer-Man Dimensional Coast

Hi, Wastelnd. Just scored a 5-Up in Super Mario Bros. 3 for GBA - the best version. It's been a quiet, lazy time of the year - things are getting colder, leaves are falling... but, you can always count on that ever-present beaming Florida deathheat during the day. 

I recently rewatched the instant classic Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, for roughly the... 4th? time...? followed by the mid-90s italo-horror gorefest, Casper. What a weird one. Other than that, I've been watching a ton of RedLetterMedia, with the occasional peppering of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I think I'm spiritually somewhere between Mike Stoklasa and Larry David.

The other night, I caught the great Thomas Bangalter's first DJ set since 2010ish - insanely wicked show. Sort of my first "Daft" concert, y'know! Best believe I blasted the entire set at work the following shift. I'm absolutely obsessed with Two Months Off by Underworld, and Thomas' remix of Signatune by DJ Mehdi, both from the set. Y'know, The Robots have been suspiciously active lately. I got a feeling some kind of reunion isn't too far fetched...

T-Bang witnesses a disturbing atrocity in chat...

Bus stop denizens

In the wacky world of MidLife, I've been working on a new sequence in which our lovely lead, Vienna, is smashed into the sky by a gigantic Big Lots semi; landing before an eerie bus stop, naturally populated by a smattering of zombie-types and demonoids. 

The original animated sequence basically had Vienna very directly encounter the bus stop - no real character to it, sort of awkward, stilted. I'd get into specifics, but the summary is, it was... unnoticeable. Didn't feel like a natural progression of the scene. So, I brainstormed something a little more exciting, cartoony. Fun!

A shot from the original sequence

WIP screenshotty...

Right now, I'm working on a horizontal shot of the truck barreling down a highway; specifically, editing generic little cars meant to bolt past the truck - one of many not very exciting side-quests necessary for animation. Oh well. Editing the truck was fun, at least - I hate drawing vehicles, so it's mostly traced off of a 3D model off Sketchfab, something-or-other. I think it sticks out against my usual janky art style, but then, there's a lot of semi-traced environments and characters in the surrounding sequence... so, yeah. Here's a different angle I've been editing - the gnarled truck driver is a deep-cut Godzilla Vs Megalon reference... if ya know, ya know. See any other references?

Here's another one (below) - this shot I animated a while ago, but in order to fit the new footage bookending it, I've had to go back and change the whole background... normally, I might not care about the inconsistency, but luckily I still had the year-old project file ready to go. It was originally this vague, pink-and-blue distortion of liminal signs, and windows, but now, it's the eternally blinking stoplights hanging over the crossroads just outside the studio. In fact, a lot of this sequence has been shot semi-locally. Spooky. Here's (nearly) the same frame, the original on the left, "final" on the right.

Beyond that, I'm still adding stuff to Neon Pools, storyboarding little ideas for the ever-elusive Arcade sequence (one which I've stopped, paused, and started multiple times), and, occasionally, doodling the rare totally unrelated art thingie here and there. Here's a poster I recently did for my buddy Super Jack's upcoming Halloween shows!

Happy Halloween o Digital Ghosts. Oh yeah - I also just ordered the new Godzilla 1989 + Super X2 MMS! Big hype.

Shin Godzilla VS The SmogMonster (Now In 4K)

The stone-cold classic Shin Godzilla has returned to theaters after nine years; and, by some stroke of luck, my local run-down hell-hole of a cinema scored! So, naturally, I made my way downtown - just as the mysterious Vanessa Calrton foretold- to once again catch one of my all-time favorite films. 

The day started with a ton of rain, the lawn outside my apartment practically flooding - fitting, right? IYKYK. Sometimes I worry it'll reach our doors - my Godzilla doormat was drowned. Shocker I'd own that, right? I got a couple eddies next door, as well as a couple real snacks from the dollar store, and I was off. And yes, the edibles did, in fact, melt into an unholy brick in the car.

Sadly, not my photo. X_X

I first saw Shin Godzilla on it's original US run all the way back in 2016 - though, since it was with a friend I've since lost touch with, seeing it on its second run is sorta like reclaiming a memory. Hard to believe it's basically been ten years - the build-up to Shin was unbelievable. I wasn't exactly old enough to get in on the Godzilla 2014 hype, so it was my first time actively anticipating a Godzilla film. I posted tons and tons of odds and ends I'd find across the Japanese side of Twitter and Instagram to the Toho Kingdom forums; I even remember the first glimpse at Shin himself, a little silhouetted water bottle given to extras. In fact, there were a couple seemingly fake leaks floating around the forum that later proved true once the film's conceptual materials dropped, such as the two-headed Shin, or the odd, living spawns of gory flesh. Anyone remember "Godzilla: Resurgence"?

Anyhow, it was a pretty great experience! There were only three groups in the theater, counting Shin and myself - specifically, the Monster King Series 12" vinyl, released just after the film. One couple arrived 45 minutes late - gotta assume they just had time to kill theater-hopping, I don't know how you could miss that much context in a film such as this, let alone one in a foreign language. The behavior of Theater Goers can be a serious mystery. 

I'm not usually one to care about, let alone notice 4K, 4-D, Super-Magic-Ultra-Graphics, but I did occasionally notice some difference in clarity, especially during the effect sequences. Slightly different level of contrast, more visible grain and gnarl, etc. I've also read there are some improvements to the translation/subtitle work, though nothing particularly dramatic as far as I could tell. 

What a spectacular nightmare of a movie. Really unbelievable horror, perfectly enhanced by a juxtaposed realism that can really shock in it's absurdity, yet believability. I know that's an overly wordy mouthful, but man, is it true. I'll spare you all the full Jay Sherman review, but it truly is a masterpiece; the scariest, most traumatic Godzilla film outside of the original.

It's very exciting to live in an era where the Godzilla franchise can exist both in its home country - with unusual, striking films such as Shin, or the recent Minus One - as well as Stateside - with the very fun, adventurous Monsterverse - proving just how versatile and creative the core concept of a big radioactive cartoon dinosaur can be. It's a great time to be a fan.

We Knew About Rancho Unicorno

Cookin' up some shrimp and scallops, and catching up on the new King of the Hill reboot, which just dropped a few hours ago; right now, I'm watching the original series finale (which I found a little... pedestrian?), and next on the queue will be the grand return. KotH's always been one of my on again, off again comfort series, and I'm pretty excited by the idea of Hank and the boys against the horrible hell-vortex known as our modern times. 

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Meanwhile, in the wild, wild world of MIDLIFE... 

I'm still working on various pick-ups for the Lost / Neon Pools scenes; hoping to finish a mostly complete 2.0 of the sequences sooner than later, especially seeing as I might be moving yet again in the coming months. Would be nice to crank out another full WIP workprint, especially for safety's sake. Anyhow, tonight I'm picking away at a small animation of Vienna awkwardly haunting the halls of the Interment Facility after accidentally crushing an adowable widdle aborted fetus... as these things go.

I think it's fun how ridiculously different Venner looks from shot to shot across these sequences, as it's development has, so far, spanned almost that of the entire film - unlike most other scenes, it's earliest "finished" cut was a rush job, simply so as to finish something - so, thankfully, I don't think I'll feel quite so shilly-shally about the scenes which succeeded it. Either way, it's a very important section of the picture, so I've felt it beneficial to come back time, and time again, to tweak, polish, and punch-up. I'm carving what was a sort of slow, meandering psychedelic dirge into something that, while still surreal, is significantly less conceptual, and more illustrated. Sometimes, literally.

---

Well, I got through the first two new episodes of KotH - felt like a totally natural return to the same ol' Arlen, with an appropriate level of "relevant" references, and a slightly more overt cynical edge that I really enjoy. Funny as hell seeing Old Lady Peggy swear, get drunk, and confusedly throw around new-age political stuff, while still being the self-confident, blindly arrogant Peggy we loved. Same for everybody in the cast - I especially related to adult Bobby. Pretty funny how his buddy Joseph has stayed almost exactly the same, probably the least reimagined of the crew - that itself is a very clever character commentary, when you think about it. Really amazing reboot, feels perfectly in-line with the classic show, while still pretty immediately "new" in a way that's distinct, but doesn't clash with the original's vibe. 

If only Futurama could've gotten a reboot this slick. Comparing the two, it just instantly speaks for itself - one is treading the same old shyt, uninspired, and meandering in it's depressing inability to barely touch what once was; while the other really justifies it's own existence almost before clicking play. Let's not even mention the Gorillaz reboot. Or the Ren and Stimpy reboot. Or the Aqua Teen reboot. So on...

Definitely excited to see more, I've capped myself off at two so as to save some for later. I think my favorite bit thus far was definitely fat, disgusting bearded Bill - I wish they kept him that way! He was majestic!

First Felt

It's been a while since I used this as a real, personal blog, yeah?

I use to vent, and ramble pretty often on this site, airing out my anxieties to noone in particular. High School drama, anxiety issues, life. It's therapy, like journaling. Just cooler. A lot of those posts are either deleted, or too drowned in depressive hysteria to make much sense, but hey - still makes me feel better to vomit up these odd, useless emotional diatribes.

storyboard art

rough ideas 

Needless to say, I'm in a rut. It's interesting to me that whole I'm going through such a difficult time, I'm also simultaneously working on a particularly dark scene for my MidLife: Fate project, where the recurring rat-demon character Skr'd is suddenly killed by an ominous, piggish shadow. 

I've actually felt quite a bit of artistic venting throughout the scene; the forgotten Egyptian diety Skr'd raging and complaining about his lot in the afterlife, all too eager to fly off the rails with the slightest nudge. Lotta angst, lotta mania, lotta issues beneath the hood - reminds me of me. Maybe we're seeing some kind of... rat-based ego-death. Hmm.

The scene's going great - MidLife is definitely one of those things that keeps me going, and grounded. Not to mention, happy. Over an hour of footage complete! Killer. The scene, which is an unnerving blend of storyboard footage and proper animation, will use a unique version of a song I released all the way back in 2019, Houses On The Land, a psychedelic dubby nightmare based around a loop from The Orb's Plum Island. It's real creepy, having always been one of my own narcissistic favorites, and I'm so excited to see it all come together. 

I'm desperately hoping a few opportunities I have bookmarked will work out, and fast; keepin' it vague, but man, it could really save the day. I'm a religious guy, in my own funky way, and believe me, I'm praying like a... machine... that prays... a lot. For real!

The important thing in times like these is to cling to your own humanity. I've gotten very, very used to being isolated, and have been made to feel useless for a very long time - but there are people out there who, by some stroke of luck, care about me, and maybe even love me. If you're anything like me, the negativity drilled into your brain - be it caused by thoughts, people, whatever it may be - will try to convince you you're nothing forever. Its naturally hard for people to "change", and depression doesn't necessarily leave, even in the best of times. But if somewhere out there, somebody wants to be by your side, and lift you up; embrace that. Don't be afraid of it. You might not even realize you are. 

I've had a recurring dream lately. A half-abandoned, parallel dimension version of my apartment; one section totally normal, cluttered in Godzilla figures, blankets and junk food, as usual, but the rest completely empty and unused - as if I'd never noticed it there. Random, labyrinthine halls filled with softy lit bedrooms and untouched kitsh decor; odd, damaged interiors, forgotten drawers full of someone else's clothing; sometimes even glimpses into the always orange-on-purple sunset sky, peering through destroyed ceilings and thin white curtains. When I'm not showering in a newly discovered bath, or resting in some odd, often totally disheveled bit of bedding, I'm often frightened by intruders eerily leering in, watching. It's usually family. 

Take that as you will; I think I see a few meanings in there. Maybe there's a section of my life I've unknowingly ignored thats begging for engagement. I've always wondered if the weird, mirror planets we visit in dreams are, maybe, a world of their own - the ones we revisit, and really understand. I guess we'll all see, someday. Till then, goodnight, Wastelnd. Keep on truckin'.

The Ian Chronicles - A Gigantic Waste of Time

My Hurricane Protection Totem

Feels a little weird writing this cuz I knew an Ian. Blech.

Anywho! It's struck again - the return of the monster - everyone's favorite yearly crock - hurricane season! Yes, Ian's been looming past the sunny coasts of hellish Florida for the past few days now, and apparently it's finally made some pretty serious contact. Not that I'd know! Since, as usual, it looks like a normal day in Chicago around me. Nothing special; in fact, I'd go as far as to say it literally does not matter. But, safety first, I get it. Where it's bad, it's bad. I think.

Irma is the only recent hurricane I can remember legitimately impacting people around here; though even then, we just lost power for a few days. Good excuse to take a vacation, really - we headed up to a nice local lodge just out of town and made lemons into lemonade, Hilton style. Or some shit. It's a "boy who cried wolf" situation - the more they hype up these calm, serene thunderstorms, the less myself and others bother to care. It's even worse when you go online and see people from outside the state panicking, wishing us well, drafting our obituaries. C'mon, now.

Hurricanes can be dangerous, but y'know, so can Elephants. And I don't see us getting any compassion when the circus rolls into town.

Double standards.

Tell you the truth, the only reason I comment on all of this - besides consistency - is because I wish it'd just rain already. Like any degenerate, I love the muffled patter of a long, dreary day; its peaceful, really puts your soul in a better place. Makes your brain feel like Crumb by Locket. Lo and behold, a literal rain storm is tearing our beloved land apart, and there's not a fucking shredling of liquid dripping from Zeus' mighty cloud dong. Sad!

Oh, well. So far the only excitement has been the power going out, and my job shutting up. As such, plenty of time for my other, horribler, self-inflicted job; MidLife! Oh, how I love my little ghetto nightmare filmy.

Espencer Kennaeth Hasperian, the Sixty-Ninth

Not to mention, plenty of time for toy reviewing... man, can't believe I just said that. Gross! I have to thank Michael Crawford (not that one) A.K.A. Captain Toy for that little obsession of mine; my whole family's one big compulsive collector, so reading and learning about all sorts of lines like Palisades' Fairly Odd Parents, Playmates' World of Springfield, or any old Sideshow doll was super exciting as a kid. Still is, too! What can I say, it's a hobby.

I always thought it was cool he somehow got his hands on the mystic life-size Mike and Sulley promotional statues; I saw those things all the time at the local McDonald's in South Lyon, Michigan, super nostalgic to me. Gotta wonder where the rest of 'em wound up...

We've been closed for the storm

...Well, coming back to the ol' keyboard a day or two later - just smoked two spliffs, I forgot - the storm effectively came and went. Made for a nice little extended weekend, and the weather's just primo. I can finally breathe for the first time in weeks without breathing in a liquid gallon of humidity.

Now to prepare-panic for next week's apocalyptic doomsday event. I'll bring the sandbags.

White Noise, Drifting

Vienna and Dev sketch,
"Cry, Cry 11"

I'm getting better at sleep.

Some nights, it just creeps up on you; but tonight, it's warm, and inviting. How strange.

Maybe it helps I've temporarily embraced a more nocturnal lifestyle; thankfully adaptive to work, and allowing for lots of introspection and mindfulness. Not to mention, a touch-base with religion. I'm glad to have this time to myself. 

Gotta work on the whole "being productive" part, though. There's a few tasks on my list - but I'd rather lay in bed. I deserve it - today was taxing, physically; though pretty calm otherwise. Good balance.

So, what does the future hold? None of my concern. We'll get there when we get there; water under the bridge. Until then, I've got other things to worry about.

I ought to sleep... Randy Savage needs cuddles.