Looking at... Cancelled Futurama Toys

Futurama's one of my favorite shows, and it's just come back (baby) for a... somewhat mixed new semi-season - but hey, we'll see where this "Hulurama" goes. I'm there - I've caught every new episode and I'm pretty excited for the rest. Even if that new episode "The Prince and The Product" was the actual worst thing I've ever seen. Also the Covid episode. Also the western episode.

Back around Futurama's third revival on Comedy Central, manufacturer Toynami took over as the go-to guys running the Futurama junk machine. By the end of the reboot's two seasons, Toynami had released not only the entire Planet Express crew, but loads of cool, unique side characters and variants really made for fans. My favorites are the very rare Dr. Zoidberg, the 8" talking golden Bender, and the huge rotocast monster robot maniac, Destructor. As the TV series was quickly coming to a close, however, a few planned figures were left unreleased - and unfortunately, they're definitely some of the coolest we could've had. 

First revealed around 2011, waves 10 and 11 would've consisted of Clamps, Joey Mousepad, the Donbot, and evil Bender lookalike Flexo, with deluxe vinyl figures Lrrr and Morbo listed separately. All of these sculpts are among the series' best - Toynami's sculpts often fell into that static rigor mortis pose a lot of Matt Groening merchandise ends up taking, but here, the already unique designs of each character really help make them stand out on the shelf - in spite of, or even, adding some charm to their basic poses. Even, y'know, bearded Bender. 

Morbo had originally been planned as the build a figure spanning a previous wave, before being upgraded and reworked as a vinyl. Fans on Futurama forum Planet Express Employee Lounge (PEEL) took a particular liking to the figure, and even suggested to a Toynami company representative the idea of crowdfunding towards its release. Soon later, an advertisement at the 2013 Comic Con advertised a Kickstarter campaign for Morbo; though, for one reason or another - most likely the liscencing itself running out - it never came to be.

Lrrr, Ruler of Planet Omicron Persei 8... the other deluxe figure, had previously been planned for a main series release before being replaced by Amy, and, as with Morbo, was later reimagined as a vinyl. It was speculated that had the Morbo Kickstarter gone through, Lrrr could've gotten a chance next - a man can dream, though.

Ever since first binging through the series on some virus-filled bootleg website, The Robot Devil's always been one of my favorite characters - he's a wicked parody of old-school swinger demons, Forbidden Zone stuff, complete with catchy jazz numbers, dark humor and flamboyant rage. Sort of my thing. Naturally, the lost figure I wanted the most, was the 8" talking Robot Devil; revealed around the same time as a prototype closely resembling the original Robot Devil build-a-figure. In my opinion, it and the original figure's sculpt is... rough - still cool, but not very good. The set-in eyes do it no favors. Imperfect sculpts are especially apparent with the series' robotic characters, who themselves already look very well defined and three dimensional onscreen. 

The Build-A-Bot and Talking Robot Devils

Later, an excellent resculpted take on Beelzebot was unveiled posing atop a wicked unique Robot Hell base housing the speaker. I assume it was for tooling/display purposes only, but man, it really made for an awesome looking piece. This second version picked up the ball and looked just perfect - as if the Devil himself demonically lept through the TV screen, yodeling showtunes and sardonic one-liners. Following in the footsteps of the aforementioned talking Bender, the Devil would've been a large scale, partially bendable figure with a built-in voice feature, as well as his cool little future pitchfork thingie. Sadly, the hellish base was, of course, nowhere to be seen for it's final release... which, of course, went unreleased.

I think, if they had been given the time and opportunity, Toynami should've gone forward with more large scale figures - especially if it meant new, improved sculpts such as the Devil's; I'd love an 8" Fry, Roberto or Zoidberg. The talking Bender is very well made, and it's too bad it and it's golden variant were the only large scale figures to actually release; among the last, and best, of Toynami's Futurama products. 

The Idalia Chronicles - Captain Gonzo's Furball

It's 6:43 AM; another night at the ole Motel 6, and it's storming hard. Gusting 20 mile per hour winds, apparently a "category four" - not that I, y'know, have any idea what that means. I've lived, or, more accurately, slept, through plenty of Hurricanes in my Interment here in the sunny Purgatory of Florida; but I must admit, it's different when you're holed up on floor two of a ghetto joint built in the tourist boom of the '60s. This ain't no Hilton. The scenic palm tree towering across the way is looking scarier than usual, wobbling like a limp wiener gone skydiving. Ah, well - least I got Cartoon Network and the magic of social media to distract me. I don't get scared often, but the automated robotic storm alerts that keep incessantly cutting through my beloved cartoons shakes me to the core just about every time. I think its some oddly specific, but potent trauma from being woken up in the middle of the night by that terrible muffled alarm tone as a child. Even bank phone calls or text-to-speech tools give me the jitters. Is there a word for the abnormal fear of lo-fi mechanical voices? 

How about... Robophobe. Sure. 

So far tonight, I've called friends, drawn, and sat by the shower listening to one YouTube documentary or another. Mostly Red Cow Arcade and Joon the King. I may have a strange aversion to monotonous, disembodied, automated messages, but I really enjoy the brown noise of long-form video essays. The difference? That's for you to decide. 

Just like writing, something about hotels really revitalizes my soul - I'd stay here all the time if it were financially realistic. I guess that goes to show the state of things. Hell, even at home I tend to leave on a ten-hour loop of that lovely motel AC rumble. Then again, I'm not sure how I'd feel getting robbed on the daily - can't underestimate the trash ways of southern folk. Myself included. I am a cook, after all. 

MidLife's going well, if not a little slower than I'd prefer. I just started working with a new voice actor who seems great so far, and I've been doodling loads of zombie extras and funky advertisements to decorate the dingy world of death. Music wise, I've been pretty narrowly focused on a track called "Isotope Sister", a sort of reversed song-within-a-song reggae experiment that I hope opens some minds to the insanity that is sound. Not every track is a unique musical idea, statement or effort, but I hope most have a standout gimmick of sorts that lets listeners introspect on perception. That's where my head's at. 

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Ah, well... three days later, the storm's dead and gone. Just like my grandson. It's a warm, sickly summer night, I gotta get up early, and I'm wasting time on my nightmare blog... this is the life.