Feels a little weird writing this cuz I knew an Ian. Blech.
Anywho! It's struck again - the return of the monster - everyone's favorite yearly crock - hurricane season! Yes, Ian's been looming past the sunny coasts of hellish Florida for the past few days now, and apparently it's finally made some pretty serious contact. Not that I'd know! Since, as usual, it looks like a normal day in Chicago around me. Nothing special; in fact, I'd go as far as to say it literally does not matter. But, safety first, I get it. Where it's bad, it's bad. I think.
Irma is the only recent hurricane I can remember legitimately impacting people around here; though even then, we just lost power for a few days. Good excuse to take a vacation, really - we headed up to a nice local lodge just out of town and made lemons into lemonade, Hilton style. Or some shit. It's a "boy who cried wolf" situation - the more they hype up these calm, serene thunderstorms, the less myself and others bother to care. It's even worse when you go online and see people from outside the state panicking, wishing us well, drafting our obituaries. C'mon, now.
Hurricanes can be dangerous, but y'know, so can Elephants. And I don't see us getting any compassion when the circus rolls into town.
Double standards.
Tell you the truth, the only reason I comment on all of this - besides consistency - is because I wish it'd just rain already. Like any degenerate, I love the muffled patter of a long, dreary day; its peaceful, really puts your soul in a better place. Makes your brain feel like Crumb by Locket. Lo and behold, a literal rain storm is tearing our beloved land apart, and there's not a fucking shredling of liquid dripping from Zeus' mighty cloud dong. Sad!
Oh, well. So far the only excitement has been the power going out, and my job shutting up. As such, plenty of time for my other, horribler, self-inflicted job; MidLife! Oh, how I love my little ghetto nightmare filmy.
Espencer Kennaeth Hasperian, the Sixty-Ninth
Not to mention, plenty of time for toy reviewing... man, can't believe I just said that. Gross! I have to thank Michael Crawford (not that one) A.K.A. Captain Toy for that little obsession of mine; my whole family's one big compulsive collector, so reading and learning about all sorts of lines like Palisades' Fairly Odd Parents, Playmates' World of Springfield, or any old Sideshow doll was super exciting as a kid. Still is, too! What can I say, it's a hobby.
I always thought it was cool he somehow got his hands on the mystic life-size Mike and Sulley promotional statues; I saw those things all the time at the local McDonald's in South Lyon, Michigan, super nostalgic to me. Gotta wonder where the rest of 'em wound up...
We've been closed for the storm
...Well, coming back to the ol' keyboard a day or two later - just smoked two spliffs, I forgot - the storm effectively came and went. Made for a nice little extended weekend, and the weather's just primo. I can finally breathe for the first time in weeks without breathing in a liquid gallon of humidity.
Now to prepare-panic for next week's apocalyptic doomsday event. I'll bring the sandbags.
Bride of Chucky; wicked movie, full of late 90's camp mixed with a healthy amount of earnest creativity and blood drenched fun. I love the colorful direction by Ronny Yu. You can't really knock a movie with onscreen murderdoll intercourse, can you? It was a fucking gigantic film, Chuckys and Tiffanys plastered on everything from temporary tattoos to WWE jumbotrons. They're still crankin' out stuff themed around Bride's branding, though now you're starting to see more from Seed and the TV series. Well, just in time for Season 2, I've decided to break out McFarlane's Movie Maniacs Bride of Chucky two-pack; starring, who else, but Charles Lee Ray and Tiffany Valentine. In doll form.
It's hard to put on paper exactly why these figures look good, because at face value, they ain't perfect. Sculpt wise, they're more akin to statues than action figures, which was the style at the time in the wild, wild realm of disgusting nerd memorabilia. Nowadays, you got the complete opposite; endless articulation, boatloads of accessories - hell, even the box is worth keeping. Not here; and though it's dated, I've got a soft spot for dinky, simple little toys. Less is more, or whatever.
What's with all the Simpsons references? I don't know, either.
McFarlane, as usual, rode the line somewhere between screen accuracy and caricature; there's a sort of visibly unreal, maybe even cartoony look to almost all of their retro Maniacs line, and while it can be jarring or even plain off-model, I think it was an interesting way to make toys "art". Their largely predetermined poses might limit what you're able to pull off next to hotshots like NECA or MAFEX, sure, but these perceived limitations do support the series' more unique and dynamic sculpts. Since they didn't have to worry about working in 3,214,820 pin-sized joints, they were able to focus more squarely on the look of the figures themselves - give 'em more intent, very unique on the shelf. An advantage which, I suppose, makes examples like this a bit embarrassing. These are figures that are very of their time - hell, they're older than me - so I think it's important to emphasize what made these elements of their design cool, and not just the downsides one might naturally jump to in this day and age. The technology, industry, and following of collector's items has really changed in 20~ odd years, so it's nice to look back to where the whole horror-toy-avalanche more or less started.
Chucky's gross. Covered in a grimy brownish wash, his little rubber body has suffered all sorts of abuse; from the metallic skull glinting through the seams of his skin, to the tears and gore strewn across his blood stained outfit. Pretty easy to tell this particular version of the Good Guy's seen his fair share of action. The paint work is really well done, with a good eye for accentuating the small sculpted details McFarlane was so fond of. One thing I especially like is the glossy red used to highlight his chest's jagged scar, really stands out against his matte rubber overalls. I wish his eyes were a little more centered - certain angles give him a sort of walleyed expression - but I'll live. I'll also note the details of his themed overalls aren't good, like, at all, but considering they were most likely given either blurry screenshots or some random press photos, I can't blame 'em for forgoing little tiny hats and hammers for nondescript blobs. I can't imagine many will even notice the difference - for what it's worth, though it's very blended in, the Good Guys insignia is actually there if you squint hard enough. Points for effort.
His sculpt is a little weird at first glance, but honestly, I think it's just that this particular design of Chucky is just really hard to capture; just look as these fucking demon babies. Sometimes it's the head shape, sometimes it's the hair, whatever it is, it's always tricky; especially since he may as well look different shot-to-shot in the first place, what with the whole stapled together thing going on. Really, as I mess around with the figure, I've come to really dig it's look - I can't outright list any inaccuracies, and for all intents and purposes, he's solid. At only four points of articulation, your creativity is pretty limited, but you can get a good handful of convincing poses out of the lil' strangler. His stubby legs are stuck in a foreboding half-step, reminding me of his firey final showdown in Child's Play; unfortunately, the imbalance can make him prone to toppling over, if you aren't careful.
The most striking part of the figure's likeness is his rusty orange rooted hair, emulating the doll's wild Jack Nicholson do. It's pretty matted out of the box - especially after a few decades - but give it a little fluff and he's lookin' fine. The wild bits held by miniature staples and stitches are particularly sick - they really went all out, all things considered. It's not like any other Maniacs had actual hair. Not counting further members or clones of the Ray family.
The groom's sole accessory is a crosshatched stabbin' knife, pictured above; fits perfectly in his gripping right hand, so you don't gotta worry about accidentally losing it. I always appreciate that in figures. Could've gone with a couple more little bonus features, such as a gun or the Heart of Damballa amulet, but I suppose a knife about sums him up.
But where's the bride?! Rockin' a cool shiny faux-leather jacket, miniature cloth fishnets, chain "Tiffany" pendant, and an endearing tit-tatt, Tiffany makes a punky first impression; considering she was exclusive to this two pack, I'm impressed by the amount of detail put into her design. Hiking up her skirt with an evil smile, she's even got a wedding band wrapped around her nasty dolly thigh - I don't think that was even in the movie, far as I've seen, so you gotta appreciate the creativity. The sculpt's certainly captured Tiff's twisted personality, and though it's articulation even more limited in potential than that of her husband, I think her go-to teasing pose works cool anyway. Part of me wishes she were given a more static pose, which might've brought things together a little better and offered more creativity, but I dig the unique pose.
The wrinkles, folds and decorations of her outfit are very well done; especially her heavy jacket and goth boots, looking almost real with that aforementioned gloss. Her makeup's on point, as the kids say, complete with penciled-in beauty mark. Her tattoo looks a bit crude, though again, I assume it's a matter of what reference material was available to the team - bit of a minute detail, in 1999. That, or y'know... who cares.
Something is a little off about her head sculpt; I think it's the amount of forehead - couple acres too many, you ask me. Her expression could be better, resting in a sort of vacant downward stare - I can't tell what they were going for with the look, and it ends up giving her no real line of sight. Maybe give her less of a forward slouch, and it could've worked better. Still, it's definitely Tiff, and features the appropriate cues seen in her comparatively uglier Bride design. Tiff's sleek blonde hair is pretty clumped up and frizzy - I'm sure she'd have something to say about that. Being thicker than Chucky's, it's naturally a lot harder to stylize to your liking; you could form it to a fitting shape if you used a rubber band to hold down her 'fro a while, but that's only if you're really after movie accuracy; the general impression is certainly there, so it's no big issue.
Tiff came with two accessories; however, in reality, we'll make that one, because the other is what I refer to as "bullshit". It's a itty-bitty plastic cigarette, meant to be held in her gesturing left hand; thing is, it's so comically miniscule I didn't even realize it was in the box when I first opened these - so by the time I noticed, that thing had already hit the landfill weeks earlier. Oh well - smoking's bad, anyways, all that. Her other accessory is a big bottle of wine; used by Barbie herself to smash a gigantic ceiling mirror, dicing the Vegas victims gyrating beneath. What a bitch! The detail is pretty sub-par, but it's no deal breaker. Should've given her a heaping plate of cookies, too, or the Voodoo For Dummies manual. Me likey useless pack-ins.
The newlyweds, as with every Maniacs figure, came with a film appropriate poster; this one, of course, being Bridc of Chucky's memorable poster. Apparently it's a parody of Scream 2, but I'd bet the Chucky version's become much more recognizable. The poster itself is printed on very cardstock, attached to it's skeletal base via hot glue dabs. It's pretty low end, to the point of feeling extraneous, and the base itself is way too Tortured Souls for my taste. Blech. I would've preferred less of a branded display for the poster, or at least, one that somehow tied into the Bride motif. I guess it makes for a neat display, though, and I bet if you've got lots of these the posters look pretty neat next to each other.
These guys are really sweet, simple figures - and though they may be lacking in some departments, as Tiff would be sure to point out, they're cool for big fans and casuals alike. I really wish they made the lovely couple's creepy little semi-son, Glen, who's only actual action figure is... atrocious; sadly, the line itself came to close the same year as Glen's debut, meaning no nonbinary nightmares. There is, however, a standard Chucky themed around Child's Play 2 who came out more or less at the same time as this set. I recently scooped him up, and he's on the way, so I might just do a review to round off the company's Chucky gallery - not counting their 12" variation, because I enjoy having money.
Released in 2012 by Stunt Records and Stunt Grafx, respectively, Return to The Neverhood - this time written by not by series creator Doug TenNapel, but instead in-house Neverhood Inc. musician, Terry S. Taylor - offers an experimental, artistic, and pridefully pretentious take on the Neverhood's classic bag of tricks; with Christian theming and Play-Doh imagery to the nines, complete with beautiful new art by the aforementioned TenNapel.
However, rather than a point-and-click, a side-scroller, a laser battle, or a failed reboot, Return to The Neverhood is perhaps best described by it's tagline, "a musical fairy tale"; a brand new Neverhood inspired narrative paired with an album's worth of inky, slick, mud-covered tunes. A mixed-media daze of clay cowboys and rusting robots, showing only at the mind's eye.
As a young fan, Return to The Neverhood trudged to life at just the perfect time; I had only discovered the original series the year prior, and as far as I could tell, I was the last living evidence of a Neverhood fanbase. Then - what do you know - out of thin air, radio silence, and a third descriptive phrase, The Neverhood was back! I pre-ordered a physical copy - complete with 19 track CD, 36 page graphic novel, and beautiful thin-plastic slipcase - and, later than sooner, thanks to the horrors of media mail shipping, plunged into the hauntingly abstract tale of faith, fourth walls, and surfin'.
The old man ponders an abandoned sculpture
A bearded, heavy-footed old man - modeled lovingly after narrator, Terry S. Taylor, who opens the story with a self-aware introduction to this, his latest dream - wanders down a muddy,
wooded path; mumbling to himself as he stumbles upon an abandoned
sculpture; distant, yet familiar memories seeming to pass him by as he ponders it's familiarity.
Entranced, the
old man joyfully begins to further the forgotten sculpture. As the sun began to set, the disheveled sculpture grew to a bustling, beautiful world; dotted with buildings,
animals, landscapes, and more - as the old man began his crowning
achievements; Clay-Guy, and Mud-Gal - bringing life to the mud-clay world.
Clay-Guy awakens
Lord Lurker
Nearby, a half-mechanical, half-clay being, Lord Lurker, watches in hot silence; filled with sickened rage as he plots against the joyous creatures invading the world he thought was his alone.
As further clay residents are created, the people entitle their world The Neverhood; celebrating as the old man - or, as he comes to be known, the sculptor - offers two commandments via letter; To stay within the Neverhood; as they, themselves, were mere clay; and to only consume foods of their own growth; as any others would inflict them with a terrible illness. The people celebrate, and happily carry on.
As Clay-Guy and Mud-Gal spent their days falling deeply in love, many
Neverhood residents inevitably found themselves drawn to the dark Lord
Lurker - promised a life of further pleasures, only to be arrested and
enslaved by the cyborg upon arrival to his compound. Determined to
capture the entire population of the Neverhood, a large apple - of
Lurker's
creation - is left just outside The Neverhood; only to be discovered by
Clay-Guy and Mud-Gal, who, in a moment of weakness, immediately mow down
the oddly enticing fruit.
As forewarned by the sculptor, the couple begin to deform and dilapidate; Clay-Guy's soft limbs melting to exposed metal armature, as Mud-Gal sprouts a bulbous hunch.
The lovers
Nevertheless, the couple remain
deeply embraced in love; eventually regaining some of their features as they
inevitably age, easing in to the world around them all but completely corrupted by the influence of Lord
Lurker.
Soon, a sudden earthquake tears a massive tidal wave across the Neverhood - drowning many of it's residents. As Mud-Gal sits pretty in a high-rise tower, an increasingly cocky and self-centered Clay-Guy - surreptitiously discovering a piece of wood with which he fashions a makeshift surfboard - narrowly escapes the flood; thanking only himself, with no regard for the sculptor, who, as is revealed, had placed it there.
Clay-Guy surfs the tsunami
The
narrative briefly halts as the omnipresent Taylor, recalling his dream, peers into himself;
apologizing for the somewhat incoherently remembered series of events
thus far, as he wistfully mulls upon the world around him. A tall oak catches his
gaze; the morning sun beginning to break as the looming, shadowed branches turn to a golden crown of leaves. He reflects upon the futility of fear, having dreaded the tree's
foreboding silhouette in the dark of the night - only to see, as the day came, its everlasting, permanent beauty. Overall, he remains pretty confused.
Back in The Neverhood, another apocalyptic event rocks the clay world; a powerful wind thrusting it's way through the
vast city; countless lost to the destructive rush of air, sent flying into the sky. Evading the disaster, Clay-Guy and Mud-Gal develop an odd
affliction; spewing fire should they as much as open their mouths, let alone scream -
inevitably creating a dense wall of fire as they puke flames into thick
hurricane around them. Carried by the wind, the wall of flame overtakes Lord Lurker's compound; freeing the enslaved, and
destroying Lurker's villainy; yet, ultimately, engulfing the Neverhood.
Clay-Guy's metamorphosis
The sculptor, too, grows ill; stuck in a state of deep, inescapable sleep, as the years quietly
pass him by. Eventually awakening, he discovers himself in the world of his own creation; The Neverhood.
Wandering through the forest, the sculptor - now greatly aged - comes across the surfboard,
forgotten so long ago; beside it, a fishing pole; heading for Neverhood Lake.
Mud-Gal, implied to have left the insensitive Clay-Guy, assists in what is left of the city; as nearby Neverhood Lake, a bearded Clay-Guy looms over the shores; staring in awe as a man, perched atop a surf board, grabs fish from the lake with his bare hands -
the waters seeming to magically teem with life, despite once being barren. Clay-Guy transforms; half-clay, half-fish, yearning to be caught - struggling to leap into the water below, to be captured by the man. He
hesitates with fear, sobbing - Lurker's lingering evils pumping fear throughout his being - before finally - overcome by willpower - taking the plunge;
completing the transformation.
The last fish caught
As the sculptor pulls his final fish of the day, he finds in
it's maw, an infant, "... a wondrous discovery that for one brief moment makes him think he's starring in a low-budget remake of 2001: A Space Odyssey."
The Neverhood returns to its former glory; Clay-Guy and Mud-Gal joyous
with life, and love, as the city celebrates it's newfound youth - the old man, too, now
young, dancing away; his existential journey and mission complete, as the grave
of Lord Lurker rests lost amongst the brush.
Clay-Guy and Mud-Gal dance
So, I'll get it out of the way - it's different. As a younger fan, that fact alone, admittedly, put me off. I had expected a more straightforward follow-up to the bleak ending of previous installment, Skullmonkeys; or, at the very least, a bit of self-indulgent fun - bubblegum fanservice for the odd hive of fans who still adore Neverhood's unique stories. Instead, Return offered a surreal mirror image to the Neverhood we once knew; a through-and-through reimagining of the series' core concepts and ideals, changed not only out of necessity, which we'll get to, but also in aide of the captivatingly new direction by Taylor.
As time's gone on, though, my need for "consistency" within a series has sort of faded; as I got more into anthological series such as Godzilla, Masters of the Universe, or even the MCU, I slowly learned to appreciate brazenly alternate interpretations of a series' main set of ideals. There's always plenty to explore outside of the usual creative playing field, and I think there's a lot of humanity in the nature of a "retelling". Variety's good.
Still, it should be emphasized this new creative direction was either inspired by, or a result of, EA Games' stranglehold on the dormant Neverhood franchise; leaving it, effectively, just out of reach. In TenNapel's words, "Dreamworks Interactive paid for [The Neverhood] to be made, and own the Neverhood characters... I own the name Neverhood, but can't make a project that represents itself as that game. Dreamworks Interactive was sold to EA. We've tried for years to work out a deal with EA, but it never made sense to them..." He continues to note, "If I put Klaymen, or Ottoborg, or any other character from The Neverhood in [a] new game, even in the tiniest way, I've... used EA's [intellectual property] without their permission.... On the soundtrack and movie deals, we get permission from EA to do anything."
To summarize the issue, as per the terms of their original contract, it would cost EA Games too much money to sign off on new Neverhood game due to a royalty structure putting Neverhood Inc. on the higher ground. "It costs them money even to look at us... A movie or a soundtrack doesn't trigger that royalty agreement... Our contract is so tight on the game, they wouldn't want to come to the deal table in a weak position. That's not how EA works."
Meaning, new characters, same vibe. This was the first time I'd seen a reboot like this, though nowadays it's not too uncommon. Think... Yooka-Laylee, or Mighty Number Nine. Still, interestingly, the only true case of a full-on expy, or counterpart in Return comes in the form of Clay-Guy; a round, self-indulgent parallel to Klaymen's absentminded and distant slouch, most certainly meant to contrast by design. Everyone else is wholly unique, if not vague. I prefer style, over substance; as Taylor's story delves further into metaphor, and metaphysical, plenty is left intentionally unsaid about it's cast of characters beyond their relevance to Taylor's recollection; and is, as such, meant to be inferred through the character's designs - a true testament to TenNapel's talent, as large elements of the story's multifaceted world are communicated soleley through character illustration. Lord Lurker bears a large, cybernetic eye - not to mention a small arsenal of deadly arms; totally unlike to anything we've seen before with the crooked Klogg or vicious Skullmonkeys. The Old Man, though clearly intended as Taylor's author surrogate, remains solid, and stoic; hidden behind an expressionless wall of bright orange beard, and deep, dark glasses - just narrowly revealing his humanity at the close of the narrative, as happily jaunts away from the dark resting place of Lord Luker, back turned. Even the aforementioned Clay-Guy - though certainly, and unavoidably, a bit of a stand-in - seems newly flawed; tempered and hedonistic, despite his Klaymen-like innocuous nature.
Through and through, it should be noted Taylor's overall mood and style of writing perfectly matches the dark humor of it's predecessors. I will admit it isn't much of a character piece, but for what its aiming for - I.E., more of a folk tale, than cartoon - I'd say they hit the nail on the head, eh? (link the nail sneverhood song)
That being said, and in mind, Return strives to remain only broadly inspired by the iconography and ideals of The Neverhood's previous episodes; despite what visual and tonal similarities there are bound to be, there's almost nothing in the story I'd say is directly duplicated from, or blatantly reminiscent of The Neverhood or Skullmonkeys. Oh - or Klaymen Gun Hockey. It's all-new, for better, or worse. I say better.
Both covers used for the album's digital release
A spiritual successor not only to The Neverhood games, but also to it's beloved series of OSTs, Imaginarium - their original release featuring an interestingly familiar caricature of Taylor at it's center, a bit of surely unintentional foreshadowing - Return's true heart comes in the exciting, memorable and all-around awesome score by Taylor, perfectly complementing and diving into the story told symbiotically through his writing and TenNapel's art. This multi-media approach to creating a vividly tangible world is beyond exciting, and something I always love to see done. It's very much a unique and psychedelic experience in media that's best consumed in conjunction; just like the original scores and their accompanying games, in a sense. Taylor and Tennapel have not only accepted the project's inherent limitations, but embraced, and even expanded within them; effectively shifting focus from one aspect of the franchise's popularity and success, to another.
When asked the inspiration for The Neverhood's unique brand of sound, Taylor remembered Doug's initial direction; "As I recall, the only specific instruction I got from Doug in pre-production was that he wanted the music 'to sound like clay.'... I didn’t find this vague at all! I immediately knew exactly what he was talking about and left the meeting with ideas for my approach already percolating." As any fan will know, this perfect match of creative vision couldn't have been more apparent through the wildly abstract and artsy tones all throughout the games scores, inseparable from and genuinely important to the games' presentation, themes and overall visions.
With from an overall sense of jovial, yet haunted jazz, the album includes everything from Yello-meets-Beach Boys surf rock, to show-stopping ballads, to carnival showtunes, to good, old fashioned Neverhood jams, all perfectly meshing with the Imaginarium albums composed so many years prior. If Imaginarium One can be described as ghostly, incoherent folk jazz, and Imaginarium Two as a more eclectic blend of country, tribal and electronic, I'd describe Return as a uniquely carnival-y, brassy, and structured artistic piece rounding out the musical evolution of the trilogy. I think my favorite would have to be The Love Sweet Love Suite Part 2, a haunting and unusually lyrical track that truly reveals the extent of Taylor's performative ability, some facets of which are perhaps unfamiliar to those only acquainted with his Neverhood work. It's neat to catch glimpses of the more traditional, album-centric artist side of Taylor seeping into the experimental Neverhood theme.
Very little tangential media seems to exist in relation to Return, despite its recent production. The project's teaser tailer features some interesting exclusive elements, such as various semi-animated interpretations of Doug's art, as well as well as a cool cross-faded mix of the full album. An early mix of "Let's Go Fishin' " was shared by Taylor in advance of the album's release, with a cute little spoken intro by the man himself teasing the project. You can also still purchase a signed copy of the album off of BandCamp to this very day - I even double checked and ordered one for my own collection! Thanks a ton to you, Mr. Taylor. It's beyond wicked to get your signature! Not to mention, a second copy.
Though featuring a prominent tagline reading "Issue One", Return exists in and of itself, with no sequels. As of 2022, Return marks the quiet end of The Neverhood Chronicles; closing not on any sort of all-encompassing finale, but instead an introspective, earnest, even heartfelt, wave.
TenNapel continues to embrace and illustrate the Neverhood cast, even recently launching a Neverhood-inspired collection of NFTs, "N.E.K." - or, "Neverhood Eternal Klay" - a digital art series starring various Neverhoodian oddballs. I'll note right off the gate, outta the the bat, NFTs are a hilarious waste of time and money for each and every party involved - be a big boy, don't fall for it. Nevertheless, for completion's sake, I figure it's worth mentioning their existence. Don't take this as any kind of advocation, but there's a certain creativity to NEK's homogenous style I can at least appreciate from a safe distance. Behind a blast shield.
They really ought to have just sold these as cute little prints. I probably would've snagged a few.
TenNapel joined forces once more with Taylor and further Neverhood Inc alumni on 2014's Armikrog, a now fully indirect successor to the original Neverhood game featuring a new alien cast of clay creatures and characters, many elements of which are directly inspired by first Neverhood's concepts - perhaps surprisingly, even moreso than Return. Where Armikrog effectly one-to-one retells the fallen angel plot of The Neverhood, Return recycled in very broad strokes - you see the influence, but the logline isn't quite so similar. I've yet to get around to playing it - if I do, based on the game's ratings - but it at least seems like a visually (and musically!) exciting return to the good old 'hood.
It's a bit of a non-sequitur; rather than showing us the true destiny of our heroic Klaymen, rather than a jolly a catch-up with his weird, memorable friends, rather than a totally different story set in the already expansive universe described through The Neverhood's sea of lore; we got a touching return. Everything is new - yet, beneath the surface, the same. There's something to be said about closing off such a complex and surreal anthology with it's own Klay reflection.
Invader Zim is an odd little series. Despite it's wide and ongoing acclaim, one could argue it's broadest appeal came in merchandising; just think how many kids you've seen rocking that iconic GIR hoodie, perhaps with a dash of MCR bracelets and a pinch of unholy facial piercings. From the memorable Irken insignia to GIR's stupid little face, the series' iconography have well surpassed the brand itself; half those kids would have no idea their cool little jacket came from a nightmare cartoon about gigantic weenies and mentally deranged moose-beings - and, good for them. They're better off for it.
Unfortunately, not all of us have remained unacquainted with the twisted Zim universe. In case it's not obvious going by my art style, writing style, and... well, entire personality, Zim was a series I seriously loved as a young teenager. Hell, I'm still a fan - I just threw on the pilot the other night. Being a proud toy hoarder, I've amassed the majority of Palisades' impressive 2004 Invader Zim series, released hot off the trails of the series' first DVD release; from the awesome base playset, to the box set exclusive duty mode GIR. I've always thought that variant was supposed to look like the mystic Bloody GIR - if you know, you know.
Since the toy line's end in 2005, there hasn't been much in terms of legitimate Zim action figures. There's been a handful of GIR bits and bobs, a run of miniature bobbleheads, plenty of stuffed animals - but no real toys. The closest we've got was 2019's Sunny Days Entertainment "Bend-Ems" Zim and Dib; a pretty cool little duo of figures, definitely worthy of your shelf - especially if you can't, or don't want to cough up what eBay and friends are asking for Palisades' long out of print figures.
I jumped on these guys as soon as I realized they'd released; resulting in me overpaying significantly, having assumed they'd never show up on proper store shelves - they hadn't yet! Give it a week, I suddenly see them for $15~ each at Hot Topic. After months, and months of total obscurity. Go figure.
In my excitement, though, I happened upon the figure's first appearance at Toy Fair 2019, covered by Figures.com. Resting on a table beneath various test packaging cards was the Bend-Ems figure variety themselves, ranging from Hank Hill, to Popeye, to Voltron, to... GIR and Gaz. Complete with GameSlave. While I assumed they'd eventually release - GIR's dog design all but guaranteeing it - years later, it looks like we'll never see these additional characters.
It's really too bad; the Bend-Ems aren't ground breaking, but they capture Zim's noodly design in an effective manner. I've always felt that despite Palisades insane range and accuracy, the figures were ultimately too fragile for their own good - something completely voided by a series of toys made of literal bouncy rubber. While nothing much was really lost, I can definitely say I would've bought GIR and Gaz, no problem.
Finally, it happened. Januray 22nd, 2021 - a new Invader Zim toy line. Disgusting nerd collector websites reported company Diamond Select - known for their strange Walgreens residency - had announced a new series of Zim toys, complete with alternate heads and accessories - just like Palisades, but new!
A Diamond Select Toys release! Dooooooom! Invader Zim has returned to invade the Earth again, this time as an all-new series of action figures from Diamond Select Toys! Each set of two 3-4” figures – Zim with Gir, Boy-Disguise Zim with Dib, and Dog-Disguise Gir with Gaz – includes multiple accessories and interchangeable parts. Each pair comes packaged in a full-color window box. Designed by David Forrest, sculpted by Paul Harding!
I think I speak for every Zim freak when I say, these look wicked. The dancing gopher - a bad, bad rubber piggy - Gaz' horrifying robotic guards! You rarely see lines so dedicated to fanservice, and you really get the feeling they were aiming for something as cohesive as the aforementioned Palisades series.
While the Bend-Ems notably didn't use the redesigns seen in 2019's Invader Zim feature, Enter the Florpus, Select seems to have gone for a happy medium; Dib's got his Florpus incarnation's big, googly head, but also the paler skin and straight faced tee seen on TV. I actually dig this; not everyone's a fan of Florpus' much softer look, but I think it works really well in the context of the film itself. It would've been fitting to have a new range of Zim figures referencing these modern designs; a set for the original series, and a set for the movie. Really, I think they ought to have bit the bullet and adapted the movie designs directly - would've been a lot more desirable, as a collector. But that's just me.
I really love the expressive sculpts and poses; executed a bit better than Palisades' versions, in some cases. Irken Zim's pissed off overbite looks perfect. Each character had an alternate head, seemingly except for doggy GIR; I'd assume they didn't feel the need to give the most recognizable character too distinct of a variant. On the other hand, though, I gotta admit human Zim doesn't look too hot; something about his eyes and head shape is a little too Dr. Cortex. Dib's also a little weird; I know I just defended the whole Florpus thing, but it's cartoonier, friendlier take on Dib, at face value, isn't my favorite. His alternate head is a perfect example of that. All in all, the paint applications and attention to detail are really eye catching, great for fans, but the sculpts just don't consistently bring things together. Especially not in the same way as their predecessors.
So, why the past tense? Well, as of September 2nd, the series has officially been cancelled. Having pre-ordered the first wave, I've been keeping the occasional eye on the series; after all, I was pretty hyped for this release. While it originally was slated to ship during the summertime, the months went on, and the due date was pushed - again, and again - indefinitely... to the point where I started considering cancelling my pre-order. The thought passed, here and there, when today I figured I ought to get my hundred or so back - but lo and behold, Big Bad Toy Store was was step ahead.
Rest in Peace. Select themselves have mentioned the cancellation is due to production issues, hoping to resolicit, and the line has been marked "sold out" on most websites. While I'm sad the series didn't come out, I think at the end of the day, it's another case of nothing much was lost - especially since they were largely retreading an already popular and still respected series. I would've loved a new set of spooky dudes, but I'll survive with the one I've already got.
The company did end up releasing a PVC statue featuring a triumphant Zim and GIR later in 2021, designed by the same sculptors as the figures; making it effectively the only mass-release glimpse at this line. I haven't ended up buying it, yet, but I suppose if you had to choose one, this was a pretty solid choice; and a good note to end on.
What's next for the wild, wild world of Invader Zim action figures? Probably not much, honestly. The Florpus press cycle has ended, the comic's ended, the hype's died down, and good ole Zim's back to outdated internet forum territory. Just the way we like it. I think the cancellations of both series reflect the fleeting nature of Zim's media presence; par the course for your average cult classic, fashionably late and quick to leave. Interest is bound to ebb and flow, and while that's great for a weird obscure animated series, that's not so great for a toy line. It's interesting to see the original shows' fade in a smaller, faster scale; Zim was huge again for a minute, only to once again draw back.
Now watch as all eight of these figures are released in the next week.
I wrote a post earlier this year about my fourth of July misadventures, but I accidentally forgot to actually post it anytime close to the holiday. Bit late now - it feels weird proofreading something written in present tense months ago - so here's the cute little banner I put together for the page. I really like it. It's all the cool fireworks I saw that night, bunched together in one image.
I put a lot of work this year - albeit over a super short amount of crunch time - into a little thing that'll see the light of day sooner or later. Probably of my own volition, though for the sake of the post, I'll mention it was an element of else's project. Why the uncertainty? Well, the project more or less stumbled directly into the doo-doo dumpster, after being specifically warned to avoid doo-doo dumpster stumbling. It's hard to find a better descriptor than that.
I'm glad with what I and my fellow artists accomplished, but despite all this well wishing, we're done with this escapade. We made a whole lot (some of which I've already repurposed), even outside of the piece I'm specifically referencing, and I personally learned a fair bit in the process - for better, or for worse. Not that I'm exactly complaining, because I'll survive, but we didn't even get paid at the end of the day. You hate to step back, watch the dust settle and realize something like that. Unforch, we've all been there.
I don't especially want to get into the specifics, least not until the iron's cooled down, because you never know. No need to jump the gun, purely out of respect. Perhaps they'll bounce back from the self-inflicted backlash, perhaps it was all a bit better off forgotten. Either way, just another little jot in the turmoil that is being an eternally addicted artist.
A Self Portrait
I spent about six hours on a Cartoon Mouse Animation tonight. Isn't that sad!
What's compelled me to spew this vile vomit onto the holy scrolls of Wastelnd? Well, I figure it's worth documenting. It's been knocking at my skull, begging to be set out, for months - pretty much since I had the first inclination things were about to go sour. Probably will 'til I feel comfortable sharing the piece with it's audience. Maybe in a billion years, someone will connect two-and-two, make a little insight, and uncover the the terror and turmoil that was 71's early days.
We already covered the tie-in toy line, but another aspect of Gorillaz' twentieth anniversary cycle came in the form of a re-release of their first album, now including remix album Laika Come Home, b side compilation G-Sides, a small EP of unreleased demos, and their 2001 live performance at the Forum. While I'm not too crazy about the release otherwise - it seems to be going for the original Gorillaz aesthetic without any of the Matt Wakeham - to have brand new set of classic, old-school Gorillaz cuts sounds wicked alone, and a cleaned up concert just makes it even better... yeah?
Well, it cost $300 bucks, and isn't on streaming, CD, or et cetera. So, naturally, I downloaded all of the exclusive tracks from some kid on the internet the day after release for free. I love piracy!
We'll begin with the new material; and, first thing's first, G-Sides this is not. These are demos in the much more literal sense than you often run into around the music scene these days. Of the bunch, really only two sound anywhere near finished; however, given the context, that's not completely a bad thing. The EP, "Demoz", gives a fascinating insight into the vision for Gorillaz before calling in trip-hop producer Dan the Automator, who gave the album it's distinctly urban gothic drudge. Paired with the previously released demos from this point in production, such as I Got Law, Clint Eastwood or Faust, you definitely get a more Eastern tinged kick on the familiar britpop sound compared to the deeper, dubbier, Deltronier throes of the final product. There's a certain similarity to the slick foreign styles of Albarn's Mali Music, and you can absolutely hear echoes of Blur's beautifully angst 13 (particularly through the melodies of Genious). Suprisingly, though, no Phi-Life-Cypher to speak of; a Star Wars themed parody group booted off the album before release, as you might've concluded from the above Eastwood demo. Poor chaps.
I'd say my favorite is easily Shaga Laga, the most finished, and most catchy of the bunch; a sort of twisted hillbilly electro jam, just seeping with that surreal, pixelated weirdness Gorillaz used to have. It easily could've been on G-Sides, or any other oddball one-off release. I love the sudden bursts of metal, the harsh sawtooth sounds, the dissonant looping guitars - sounds like something you'd hear on Goat Simulator. As wack as it absolutely is, it's sick to hear a truly hypnotic Gorillaz song again, let alone one that also sounds like a cartoon. Big thumb in the air.
Another standout is Hand Clapper, which has a bit of background to it. On the Gorillaz' website, there was a little game where you could mix your own song, stems and all. The few stems available came from this demo, though the full, complete version was never released in any form. From the game, a fan created their own "full" take on the song, which circulated as official for years; only the truly disgusting omega-fans, such as I, realizing otherwise, pretty much up until this version's release. Now I imagine the fan version will become something of a rarity itself in the coming years. In a way, I still sort of prefer the quote-unquote original; its got a more chill vibe to it, and I'm frankly pretty used to it by now. Hearing a new version that's also the actual version is pretty surreal. My life is a lie. Still, hearing the intended vision is really cool, and is pretty much the only example of the EP meeting any long sought after fan requests. Someday, we'll hear Gor Beaten. Someday.
Finally, the album's closer, an early version of Latin Simone titled Acoustic 2, is such a beautiful and dreary dive into the infectious sadness Albarn so often manages to convey. It's the sound that really got me hooked in the first place, and I think it came from a very genuine place - in reality, and otherwise.
Apparently sponsored by Run-DMC, for reasons unknown
Besides these, though, these are largely very rough and meandering. Shocking, I know. In other words, yeah, they're demos. If you're expecting more, you're looking for the 2001 version. That said, I feel like five tracks total is a little sparse for a brand new edition of the album; sure, you've also got the G-Sides compilation in the same deal, but even that inexplicably doesn't carry the complete international tracklist. Plenty of wicked early Gorillaz stuff is left totally absent. Hell, I've offhandedly mentioned two in this very writeup. It's great these demos are all brand new, but for a complete box set that's running that expensive, I think it's a letdown. But hey, it had a pretty dope etching of 2-D on the b side. So that's something...
Anyway, let's look at the other real headliner of this lovely little shelfwarmer.
As for Live from the Forum, it's a pretty by-the-numbers y2k Gorillaz performance, sure, but that's not to say it isn't well done. It's great to look back on a time when a Gorillaz show was a bit less flash, a bit less hype, and a whole lot more animated. Hidden behind a stage-spanning projection, Albarn and the band performed fully in silhouette as Gorillaz' psychedelic visuals droned before them; complete with the Gorillaz voice cast of Nelson De Freitas, Phil Cornwell, Remi Kabaka and Haruka Kuroda shouting to the crowd throughout the show. I adore how, during this era, they really went out of their way to sell the illusion of the multimedia project, still remaining somewhat "hidden" behind the surreal twang of their animated avatars.
The show consists of various first album picks, though certain surprises such as b side Dracula or Phi Life Cypher's take on Rock the House, normally featuring Del the Funky Homosapien, spice things up for the more aquatinted listener. That's right; after being swiftly tossed aside, Phi were wrangled back to play stand-in. Seems awkward. I dig the sort of grunge, echoed out sound of the performance; it perfectly matches the visions of surreal neon lights, stomped cigarettes and plumes of Marijuana smoke the trippy music paints through your mind. It's a concert, no question, but the droll atmosphere really helps in elevating it to something conceptually more. It really feels like you're watching a gang of animated assholes pluck away at odd, alternate dimension anthems. One of the best parts comes near the end of Punk, the snarky Murdoc commenting "I love reverb! Listen to that!" as a guitar screeches endlessly over 2-D's attempts to wrap up the show. I love stuff that isn't afraid to get conceptual.
The concert was originally a Gorillaz.com release, all the way back in '01. Pretty obscure, and low quality, to boot, so I think it's neat to have it re-included as a more straightforward part of the discography. I will say, though, I don't think it's a particularly stunning or definitive performance to document. Perhaps as a result of it's heavily compressed digital release, large sections of crowd interaction or otherwise silence between tracks seem to have been sloppily cut short; it's not a deal breaker, but it can be distracting. Also, at only fifty or so minutes in, the performance ends on an encore-reprise of two previously heard tracks ‐ what's up with that? They sound better the second time through, certainly, but at least three songs from the main album weren't brought out at all. I'd assume the band simply hadn't expected to do an encore, that's all good, but again, it just hammers in my point that this probably isn't the performance I'd choose to showcase. Double Bass, the greatest song in history, forgotten yet again.
If you ask me, the reason they chose this particular show was simply because the audio existed at all. Not much else. Again, this isn't to insinuate it's bad - I'm just saying it was pretty at home as a GorillazGuy1993 YouTube exclusive. In fact, the art they've associated with the performance in the box set itself comes directly from said YouTube upload, about a decade earlier. Huh.
All this criticism and thinky-think aside, it's cool to return to this era of Gorillaz. While I most prefer the dub nightmare it quickly became, Gorillaz' prototype era is otherwise very undocumented, and often goes forgotten as the history/credibility of the band dredges on and on. Likewise, the artistry and atmosphere of their original shows is just unmatched - if I could jump back in time, you know I'd be high as "bollocks", front row, staring head-on at whatever Windows screensaver their fuzzy shadows are dancing against. It's just a shame they didn't give us more.
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